It’s been almost 3 years and the passage of time numbs the pain and horror and fear some things can bring into your life. It doesn’t always answer questions though, nor does it at times, stop the fear from haunting your dreams.
It’s been almost 3 years…
3 years ago, my husband burst into our bedroom, early one morning, breathless and with a look on his face I had never seen. Grabbing the blankets around me, and shaking the sleep from my head I made him repeat what he said. “Tina, someone has put a rock through our car window” Confused, worried, upset, and sleepy, I grabbed a dress, threw it on with my shoes, grabbed a coat and followed him outside. I wanted to see what this rock some kid must of thrown through our car window was and find the little brat that did it!
My first thoughts, it was an accident, it had to be, it was a dream, it had to be, it wasn’t real, it couldn’t be. Of course it wasn’t an accident, it was done, in such a way, and left in such a way, to inspire fear. A kid didn’t do this. It had to be someone tall enough to reach over and repeatedly smash the rock through the window, over and over again until it broke. But why? Who? When? What had we done to make someone so upset at us that they would do this? We didn’t know. We still don’t. We never will.
We’ve chosen to believe that it was a case of mistaken identities. It’s all we can choose to do with out letting it cripple us. The car that should have been parked next to ours that night would have been also red, and also a 4 door. That car owner had just recently had difficulties with a neighbor, dealing with the use of drugs and selling of drugs from their downstairs apartment. Was this act done to scare her? To stop her from continuing with her duty, and turning these criminals in? Was our car just in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it wasn’t meant for us at all. That is what we have chosen to believe.
It’s all you can do, when something this personal, this evil, this disgusting strikes not only your car, but your very heart. Not only did it shatter the windshield, it shattered a part of that child like innocence I had about this valley and this world. I didn’t feel so safe anymore.
But it was 3 years ago, and we made choices not to let our hearts be victims. . .
It was 3 years ago, and the passage of time numbs all things. . .